Conversations with Corey

I am a random, random person. Luckily I'm in a relationship with someone who's just as bad as me. Case in point:

I walk into the flat to find a tree in my living room
Me: "Why is there a tree in the living room?"
Corey: "It's an early Christmas present. It's a silver birch tree"
Me (looking disbelieving): "Really?"
Corey: "Yes. I thought we could get a pot for it and keep it in the house"
I quickly check the whether silver birch does well in a pot.
Me: "Luckily for you, it does ok in a pot."
Now, I know him...this tree isn't a Christmas present. He's using it as an excuse to justify bringing home a tree...into our tiny little flat.
Me: "Did you buy the tree as a symbol of our love?"
Corey: "No."
Me: "Our love that will grow and grow over time?"
Corey: "No."
Me: "That will get stronger with age as we put down roots...?"
Corey: "It was £1 in the reduced section and they were going to throw it away."
Soppiness will get the truth out of him in no time.

Oh, he brought home the three foot tree on his bike. His journey home was 5 miles. 

A few days later we were walking back from town. I see a ridiculously fat squirrel and go up to talk to it. Ok, I may be slightly crazy as well as random...It eventually runs up the tree and we continue walking home.
Me: "You know how squirrels aren't hibernating for as long?"
Corey: "Because it's not as cold."
Me: "Yes. Do you think the diabetes rate has increased in squirrels because they're getting fat for winter, then not hibernating it all off?"
Corey: "Do squirrels get diabetes?"
Me: "Probably not. But anyway...do you think heart disease and high blood pressure rates has increase?"
Corey: "Ummmm..."
Me: "Do you think they're going to have to do public service announcements about how they no longer have to eat as much because it's not so cold? As well as being taught about the dangers of overeating? Are we going to start seeing squirrel gyms appearing?"
Corey: "Like those adult gyms you get in the park? One day we'll walk through Vicky Park and see the squirrels on the exercise machines, trying to lose weight for summer."
What followed was a conversation about squirrel gyms, how I gave my hamster a complex by informing it it was overweight and how my family dog doesn't care, as long as she gets attention. It's nice to be with someone who gets me.

I've also since done some research and discovered grey squirrels don't hibernate. My question, should that rather large squirrel be reading (hey, my manager took a picture of a squirrel, at 8:30 am, eating a small piece of buttered toast. Who says they can't also read), my question is: why are you eating so much?

And, because I've not put pictures up for a while:

 

The squirrel we rescued last year. Corey found him being attacked by a magpie.

I let him have my hat to sleep in

Before he went back into the wild. He's got a slightly shortened tail. Other than that, he's fine

We have a soft spot for squirrels in this flat.