My word last year was Challenge. It got me involved in gift swaps. It got me onto a train to London, Sheffield, Birmingham and Leamington Spa to meet people I'd never met before. I wrote a post for Any Other Woman about how Corey and I got together, after having my word of the year invoked on Twitter. I chatted to people online more, made friends at a time when I was wondering if I'd ever meet new people. I went on a photography course. I still need to blog about that, actually...I even allowed two of my photo's to be given to Corey's parents as Christmas presents. I still find fault with one of them, but the other I'm pretty chuffed about.
These are all things should be easy to do, but they weren't for a whole host of reasons. There's the fear of rejection from all those people I met, the fear that I won't be good enough at the new things I've tried, that any posts I've written for other people's blogs won't be well received. I did them, though, because the word was always there, egging me on. I learnt that the more you do things that scare you, the more comfortable you will be doing them. I'm nowhere near as nervous about meeting new people now. I'll always find fault in my own work, whether it's a photo I've taken, an item I've crocheted or a post I've written. But I'm learning to let go and listen to other people when they tell me that the things I do are good enough and that I'm the only one who sees the flaws.
Which leads me into my word of the year for this year:
Change (I think my brain is stuck at the Cha part of the dictionary)
I'm terrible when it comes to change. I hate it. It scares me. Even when things are stagnating, boring or need a shake up, I'm wary of trying something new, just in case it makes things worse. Change, however, is inevitable, and this year I'm going to try and learn to embrace it. I'm going to try and learn to encourage it.
Most especially I'm going to try and change my opinion of myself. It's pretty low. I don't have the highest self-esteem, and while I don't want to become arrogant, I also know that my self-esteem holds me back a lot. I long to try new things, and then don't because I've already decided I'll be rubbish at them. This has to stop or I'll get to a point where I realise I spent far too much time putting myself down and not enough time doing the things I want to do. I rely on others for confirmation of my own worth, when I should know my worth already. So here's to changing my mindset and trying to become more confident.
I also have a list of things I'd quite like to do this year. They may not be achievable, as what seems like achievable now may not be so for any number of reasons in a few months time. But I'd like to cross a few of these things off:
- Learn to play piano (ok, keyboard)
- Learn to play guitar - pick up a tuner and some new strings for it first, though
- Take singing lessons
- Go to belly dancing classes
- Start learning a language
- Go to beginner dance classes
- Take more photographs, especially of Leicester
- Learn more photographic techniques and implement them
- Bake more
- Make one Christmas present a month instead of doing everything last minute
- Learn when to say no, and when to say yes. I finished last year exhausted and burnt out. I really don't want the same to happen this year.
- Read more, and read better quality books.
- Have one day a week offline
- Use fewer exclamation marks
Has anyone else chosen a word of the year? Did anyone choose one last year? If so, how did it go for you?