Ah, the future.

Firstly, I know there's people out there who read the nonsense I write...I'm pretty sure I know who you are, but...on the off chance that there's someone out there who I don't know (I know this isn't the case as I can see from my stats that only people on facebook look at these pages :P), please feel free to comment.

I am probably about 4 or 5 hours away from completing the first draft of my dissertation. I need to send it off to my supervisor by the end of the day, but I haven't managed to get the redrafting that I wanted to get done, done. Oh well. She will have seen everything I've written once, and I guess I'll have to cope with that.

Since last week Wednesday I've been feeling a little bit down. I guess its not that surprising considering the fact my dissertation was taken apart by my supervisor, and I then proceeded to sound like a bumbling idiot in a job interview. I've applied for internship placements at university, which I desperately want to do, but since I have only gotten that one interview, and since I didn't get that particular job, I don't think I'll be doing the internships. I still technically speaking have a job note taking and my library assistant job, but I really want to do something that lets me use my degree (s) in some way. I don't want to have to move back to my parents house, but it seems pretty likely. I just want to grow up and start living my life, come September.

I am intelligent and articulate, yet when it comes to job interviews I suddenly start sounding as if I've forgotten how to speak. Its frustrating, because I know I could do all of the jobs I apply for. I'm hardworking and a very quick learner. I can work in a team and use my initiative. All of which many people can do. But at the same time, I'm cheerful, friendly and get on with most people. The ones I don't get on with...well, its usually their fault and not mine (truly, I'm not being big headed there. In 10 years worth of work experience, there's only been one coworker who's had a problem with me.). I even sing and dance, I can vaguely do origami and I bake amazing muffins. But until I can get past the bumbling idiot in an interview stage, they won't experience any of that. I may bring muffins to my next interview...it may help them ignore the stupid words coming out of my mouth.

Oh, before you ask, I always do my research and prepare answers to possible questions before going to an interview.

I don't want to go back to Cambridge, to my parents who will tell me what a waste this year has been. I don't want to have to live in completely different cities to Corey, again, only seeing each other once or twice a month. I want to stay here, at least while I figure out where to go next.

So...does anyone have a job for a muffin baking, all singing, all dancing girl who will do her best to make you smile while she works?

Anyone?

Nope?

Oh well...

Edit: I checked my emails before this post, I checked my emails after...before: no new emails. Afterwards: I have another internship interview. Question: should I bake muffins or should I just wow them with my lack of verbal skills?