Back online!

After a lot of faffing about, and being told my laptop will arrive on Tuesday, then it didn't, then it was going to Cambridge, but actually, hang on a minute, who's calling, oh, it's delivery man, my laptop is in Leicester I must now run down a hill in heels to get to him before he leaves....

I have a laptop again! I will resume blogging as per normal now! I can comment on other peoples blogs again. I've been reading, but it takes so long to comment on things on my phone that I've not had the time to. This has been frustrating, as there has been some amazing posts on the various blogs I read over the past two weeks. I've also not had time to comment at work, as I've been getting my head down and tying up loose ends before:

We go on holiday next week! We took next week off about a month ago, then waited until the last minute to book a place. Corey wanted to go somewhere abroad, but I'm desperate for a week of glorious isolation. I suggested the Isle of Skye, somewhere Corey wants to visit and I'm desperate to explore. We both love Scotland, we both love the highlands and so he went with my suggestion. We've got this one bed cottage for the week. Corey chose it. I was thinking of somewhere a bit cheaper, but then he used the magic words "It has a whirlpool bath". I think he was enticed by the leather recliners. I just know I'm going to sit in one of those chairs and blog early in the morning while he's still asleep, with that view behind me. 

I can't wait. 

A week of lying in bed, followed by exploring, coming back to a warm cottage and good home cooked food, to collapse in bed, deliciously tired each night. There will be photo's. Lots of photo's. 

Just to warn you all!

Conversations with Corey

I am a random, random person. Luckily I'm in a relationship with someone who's just as bad as me. Case in point:

I walk into the flat to find a tree in my living room
Me: "Why is there a tree in the living room?"
Corey: "It's an early Christmas present. It's a silver birch tree"
Me (looking disbelieving): "Really?"
Corey: "Yes. I thought we could get a pot for it and keep it in the house"
I quickly check the whether silver birch does well in a pot.
Me: "Luckily for you, it does ok in a pot."
Now, I know him...this tree isn't a Christmas present. He's using it as an excuse to justify bringing home a tree...into our tiny little flat.
Me: "Did you buy the tree as a symbol of our love?"
Corey: "No."
Me: "Our love that will grow and grow over time?"
Corey: "No."
Me: "That will get stronger with age as we put down roots...?"
Corey: "It was £1 in the reduced section and they were going to throw it away."
Soppiness will get the truth out of him in no time.

Oh, he brought home the three foot tree on his bike. His journey home was 5 miles. 

A few days later we were walking back from town. I see a ridiculously fat squirrel and go up to talk to it. Ok, I may be slightly crazy as well as random...It eventually runs up the tree and we continue walking home.
Me: "You know how squirrels aren't hibernating for as long?"
Corey: "Because it's not as cold."
Me: "Yes. Do you think the diabetes rate has increased in squirrels because they're getting fat for winter, then not hibernating it all off?"
Corey: "Do squirrels get diabetes?"
Me: "Probably not. But anyway...do you think heart disease and high blood pressure rates has increase?"
Corey: "Ummmm..."
Me: "Do you think they're going to have to do public service announcements about how they no longer have to eat as much because it's not so cold? As well as being taught about the dangers of overeating? Are we going to start seeing squirrel gyms appearing?"
Corey: "Like those adult gyms you get in the park? One day we'll walk through Vicky Park and see the squirrels on the exercise machines, trying to lose weight for summer."
What followed was a conversation about squirrel gyms, how I gave my hamster a complex by informing it it was overweight and how my family dog doesn't care, as long as she gets attention. It's nice to be with someone who gets me.

I've also since done some research and discovered grey squirrels don't hibernate. My question, should that rather large squirrel be reading (hey, my manager took a picture of a squirrel, at 8:30 am, eating a small piece of buttered toast. Who says they can't also read), my question is: why are you eating so much?

And, because I've not put pictures up for a while:

 

The squirrel we rescued last year. Corey found him being attacked by a magpie.

I let him have my hat to sleep in

Before he went back into the wild. He's got a slightly shortened tail. Other than that, he's fine

We have a soft spot for squirrels in this flat. 

Well, it's been a while

A month ago I promised myself I would start to regularly post on this blog. By this, I told myself, it's ok not to post once a day, but once every other day would be good. When did I last post? Tuesday! Last Tuesday!

Corey is currently working full time to cover for a colleague who's waiting for an operation. Which is great, particularly since it's right before Christmas, so he doesn't have to stress about present money. But all of last week he was getting up at 4:45 am in order to get into work at 6, with lights off at about 10 in the evening. I thought this was a good time to catch up on my reading (via my phone's e-book apps), but ended up falling asleep a lot quicker than expected. We've also been catching up on Newsroom, which means my laptop being commandeered most nights. Oh, and last Monday I managed to injure myself. 

It's taken nearly a week of neck and upper back pain for me to realise what I've done to myself. Since Tuesday evening my neck has been in a fair bit of pain, similar to the whiplash pain I suffered when I'd been in a car crash many years ago. I've been pretty perplexed as to what the heck I've done to have caused this, as on Tuesday all I did was go to work, and come home. Yesterday, while talking to my mother about all the various things it could possibly be (although all the things it could have been happened a day before the pain started...) I moved my arm in a certain way. My neck and shoulder pain suddenly increased and a light bulb moment occurred. Last Monday I picked up a weight Corey had been using and as I put it down, I didn't put it down smoothly. I felt a bit of a twinge as I did it, but ignored it and the pain went away soon after. It was the same movement that I did last night. At least I FINALLY know why I'm so sore. I don't do being in pain very well. Not because I walk around like a martyr, but because I get frustrated at not being able to do ALL THE THINGS, persist in trying to do all the things, and ending up in more pain. I'm stubborn like that. It was even more frustrating not knowing why I was in pain, whether the pain was going to go away or whether it was being caused by something (pillows, posture etc). But now I know I've pulled a muscle, said muscle will heal and pain will go away. And I don't have to spend silly amounts of money on special pillows.

But that has meant I can't do all the things. One of those things has been typing on my laptop. Another of those has been crocheting as fast as I was. I'm hoping to finish the first of Corey's Christmas presents today, and once that's done, I may have to take a step back from crocheting for a couple of days. I really, really don't want to, as I have quite a lot to get sorted before December. But it's probably best for me to get better, and not try and continue through the pain. It sucks, and I probably won't give up the crocheting completely, as I'm really enjoying making the things I'm making. I will have to restrict myself, though.

In the meantime, I've taken a few pictures this weekend. I've been visiting the parents over the weekend, as my grandmother has come over from South Africa for my aunts wedding. I tried to take pictures of the family, to follow on from my previous photography session. They aren't that great, as none of my family like photo's. It was difficult to get natural, candid ones. And then my battery went flat. But there's enough there to base a post around.

I can also show you some of the crafting projects I've started, but not quite managed to finish yet. I also have plenty of nonsense to talk about, generally. This week, I will try and be a little bit better, and not forget about the blog entirely.

Not quite there yet!

I was planning on Monday's post being about what I crafted the previous week. However, I have managed to start three projects, and not finish one of them. This is due to three things:

1) I worked 7 days last week and so my weekend was taken up with things like collapsing in bed

2) I took Monday and Tuesday off and proceeded to give myself arm ache crocheting something that didn't work on the Monday. So I made cards on Tuesday, as opposed to crochet. I started knitting my cousins scarf on Wednesday.

3) Corey coming home earlier than expected and so I didn't finish the present I was making for him on Sunday. 

I should have something to show you by the end of the week, hopefully! I've been having so much fun making Corey's gift, I can't wait to start the other gifts. I won't be able to give you exact details of his stuff, as he said he "might one day look at my blog". Which is Corey's speak for "the chances are highly unlikely, but you never know". 

He was away for all of last week. I was planning on getting a few of his things made, but this didn't happen, as you can tell. I don't sleep well when I'm home alone. I also forget to eat. So I was unusually tired and demotivated for much of the week. 

Does anyone else find they forget to eat if they're alone? It's not only when Corey isn't around. When I'm at my parents I often suddenly realise it's late afternoon/early evening, and I haven't eaten anything other than a piece of fruit. I think it's because I don't enjoy eating on my own. I don't have an emotional connection with food, I have a social connection. I spent a lot of time after school sitting on the kitchen counter, talking to my mother about my day as she cooked. And visa versa: when I cooked, I'd be chatting to her as she did various chores. As a family we would sit down around the dinner table every night. Granted, it's a rather quick meal: 20 minutes, then back in the kitchen to clean up. But we'd sit there, talking, joking, laughing.

When I'm on my own and eating, food just becomes about keeping me fueled. It's not as fun, not as satisfying. I swear, it doesn't even taste as good. I find it difficult to see much point in going to any effort, just for myself. The result is random concoctions of rice or pasta and chopped tomatoes. To combat this, I now make a bigger batch of food up the week before Corey goes away, and freeze it so that I at least have something nutritious to have for dinner. He and Joe constantly asked last week if I'd been eating properly or telling me it's not healthy to not bother eating dinner.

He's been back since yesterday evening, and already my imagination is coming up with different meals I could make this week. Soups to ward of the cold, casseroles, pies, breads and biscuits. 

Speaking of food...there's a rumbly in my tumbly. I'd better go and cook some dinner!

In need of a 4 leaf clover

I come home from work last week Thursday and start preparing dinner. Our phone rings. It's Corey. His bicycle has been stolen and so he's going to be an hour late as he has to walk home.

He's applied for work, and not gotten a single interview, he's applied for more volunteering in the hopes that'll increase his experience, only to be told there are no more spaces for him, and now his bike has been stolen. So I ran down to the shop to try and pick up some stuff to make dinner a little more special to try and cheer him up. I may have gone a little overboard, however...

I bought bread rolls for our main course. I proceeded to cut my finger while cutting the rolls, so Corey had to finish dinner off. I also bought dessert...

After dinner, I put the chocolaty dessert in the oven. Corey comes in

"Do we have custard with that?" he asks as he opens the cupboard.

"Um...no..."

"We have angel cake to go with it...?"

"Umm...yes...and..."

"...ice cream? Why did you buy so much?

"Because your bike was stolen, and chocolate makes people happy, and I bought the other stuff so that you could chose what you wanted...."

"...I want it all..."

"I thought you might"

He then proceeded to give me a hug and a kiss.

"You're insane, do you know that? But I do love you"

I guess the dessert worked, then.

Change

As I mentioned briefly in a previous post, I've been trying to make some changes in my life. About 6 months ago, in the midst of our moving house and Internet problems, I was feeling pretty low. Usually when I get like that, I start shutting myself away from the world. And so I did that. I kept in contact with the very few (but wonderful) friends I have, but online I stopped following blogs, I stopped reading ones I regularly read and I stopped commenting. I felt like I was intruding and didn't belong. I didn't bother trying to socialise outside of work with colleagues. While I chatted, laughed and joked with them at work, I kept myself to myself outside of work. I started feeling as I did a lot while I was at school and during sixth form: that people only put up with me because they have to. If they had a choice they would rather be somewhere else, with someone else. I realise now that I was more than likely mildly depressed, caused by stress, tiredness and the fact that I have a predisposition once in a while to get like that. Even when I'm not moving house every couple of months. Even when I don't have a leaky ceiling that collapses. Even when I'm not worrying about whether I'll have a job in the next few months.

But about a month ago I realised I'm actually incredibly lonely. And the reason for my loneliness is myself. It's the fact that I shut myself out, locked myself away from people. So the first change I'm trying to make is to stop doing that. I've reconnected online, I'm also trying to socialise more with people outside of work. I'm doing something that scares me, but hopefully it'll be worth it.

The second change is this: at the age of 16 I had a 10 year plan. The plan was a little ridiculous and very rigid, but my heart was in the right place. I realised then that you can't get what you want immediately. It's a thought process I'd lost recently. I've been unsatisfied with my lot because I want certain things now, right this minute. I want lots of savings, I want to be married, with a family, live in a decent house and have a good job, preferably one where I could work at home some of the time. Thing is...these things take time. So I need to give them time. I need to work towards some of them, and just let other things take their course naturally. While in many respects my 16 year old self was rather naive, she was also a lot wiser. She was also very driven, and that's definitely an aspect of myself I'd like to regain.

Following on from the above, as some of the things I want require money, I've trying to tighten my belt in certain respects. On holiday I discovered that spending cash is so much more difficult than spending via card. So each month I'll have a set amount for groceries, and a set amount for personal spending, and that's it. Right now, with Christmas around the corner, and things to buy for the house, I will be spending in addition to the personal spending. But in a couple of months, hopefully my savings will go up even more.

So, changes I need to stick with:
a) Stop shutting people out
b) Start planning, stop wanting things to happen right this minute
c) Keep a closer eye on my spending habits.

P.S. You know I mentioned buying wool yesterday? Well...I should have my first project done and ready to be shown off in a couple of days.

Barcelona!

So, I've been pretty tired these past few days. That's partially because I've been so tired I've just not had the energy. I've also been mucking about with my camera, taking pictures of the sunsets across the way from me, and mucking about with them when I get back in. I accidentally locked myself out one of these nights...in the rain...barefooted...camera in hand. Luckily my upstairs neighbour let me in...

I've also been packing. I'm off on holiday on Sunday. Can you guess where? I'll give you another clue:

I love that city! We are staying in a campsite outside Barcelona, but I will definitely be visiting it a few times while we're there!

Anyway, I'm off to pack some more. And decide what to have for dinner...

Weight loss

I used to be 8 and a half stone not that long ago (55kgs). I was happy with my weight, even if I was unhappy with my figure. But, I liked the weight I was. I was healthy and didn't wince when I looked at myself in the mirror. I then went through a stressful period during my year abroad and stopped eating properly for two weeks. I lost half a stone, went down to close to 50kgs and looked like a waif. Once I started eating properly, I stopped losing, but didn't gain the weight back again for a while. I came home for Christmas and people thought I looked too thin. I didn't realise how I looked until I saw this picture:

And I realised I didn't look healthy at all. So I didn't worry about eating junk food more often. I wanted to gain a bit of weight, look a bit healthier.

Instead I gained a bit too much. I went up to nearly 10 stone (68 kgs). Now, I know I wasn't overweight. It wasn't a lot, and I didn't look big, nor was I unhealthy. But I was getting there. It was around this time that my mother went to the doctors, was diagnosed with high blood pressure and told she needed to lose weight. Turns out she was nearly 90 kgs (14 stone) and a fair bit overweight. No one noticed. She had put it on slowly. She is pear shaped, so didn't look that big. But it woke me up to what was happening to me. That, plus the fact I couldn't fit into some of my clothes and I can't afford a new wardrobe. So I decided on a target: 60 kilos (just over 9 stone). I'd like to be a little less than that, but I'll be happy at 60. I don't want to be stick thin, but I'd like to feel happy in my own body again.

Today I stood on the scales and I'm half way to my target. It's take a long time. Of course it has as I didn't have a lot of weight to lose. And some weeks I've put on what I lost the week before. Some weeks I've not even lost half a pound, but I've lost something. At the same time, I eat better, with one bad day a week. I exercise a little more. Not as much as I'd like, but it's a start. And I've discovered something else...

...I was never happy with the way I looked before. I always thought I had fat thighs and a saggy backside. I hardly ever thought I looked pretty. Now, as I lose weight, I'm noticing my thighs toning. The cellulite reducing. I feel good in my clothes again, even if I still can't quite fit in some of them. I am happier with the way I look now than I did at 16. I actually like what I see.

I spoke to my mother before posting this. I mentioned this to her and she said she feels the same way. Even as a stick thin teenager, my mother never wore a bikini. A few years ago, she put one on for the first time and happily sat on a beach. She's growing her hair. She's buying clothes that cling a little. And she looks good in what she wears. I always thought she was more attractive than she thought she was. But now that she realises it a little, too, she walks tall. And it suits her.

It's a shame it took my mother and I to gain weight, and then lose it again to appreciate what we had before. But I'm glad that we've both come to the realisation that, while we're not perfect, while we will always have something we're not that keen on, we should be happy with who we are and how we look.

Design

I went out last night with colleagues to Leicester Fringe Thursday, the end of a week long festival arranged by one of my managers. It was good, but it meant that a) I didn't post anything yesterday (I had nothing in my drafts...need to build up some draft articles while Corey works this weekend!) and b) I'm too tired today in order to actually write anything properly. Didn't get home particularly late. I was just unable to go to sleep until 2 am...I think I need a long wind down period and even though I was physically exhausted last night, I obviously wasn't mentally tired. This weekend, I am not staying up late, or going to cricket matches, or doing anything strenuous. I bough some gadgets for my camera...so I may head out and play about with them if the weather plays nice.

Anyway, the reason for this title...I am so unsatisfied with the way my blog has looked. For those who have clicked on facebook/twitter links to my blog every time I post a link to it, you've probably seen the various transformations I've undertaken. But I still don't like it, and that's why it's likely to change several times more. I want my photographs to pop nicely. I want the background to be mellow, but bright. I'd also like to use my actual photography as a background, but I may have to crop it until it's small enough in size to be used.

I also need to sort my posts, and add to the various headings. I'm thinking of having a bit explaining beginners crochet (can't do anything more complicated than that as I'm a beginner!), adding to it as I learn. I'm thinking of having a recipes page, linking to things I've made that I've posted onto this blog. And, should I ever understand photography terminology and learn how to use my camera properly, I'll probably have a bit about that, too, somewhere. All in all, this blog is a mish mash of personal stuff, and creative stuff. And quite frankly, I don't plan on focusing on one over the other, as I'm a bit of a mish mash and I want this blog to reflect that about me. I love blues and greens. I love bright reds and yellows, pinks and oranges. I love mellow, but I also love in your face and eye catching...I want my blog to be all of that!

But the problem with that is...I'm stuck, not knowing how to design the bloody thing so that it looks like a mish mash. A wonderful, bright, yet harmonious mish mash. I'm beginning to wonder if I ask too much...

Corey's birthday present...finally

So, back in September I told you I was planning on taking Corey around London for his birthday. I intended to do it in October, at the latest, but unfortunately due to Corey's broken wrist, my starting an internship while carrying on my library job and issues with our flat meant that we only managed to get down to London in March.

I was meant to be going to my Dad's 50th birthday celebrations in South Africa in March, but as I had no clue whether or not I would have a job at the end of that month, I couldn't justify spending what would amount to £1000 for a holiday (that's flights plus spending money). But as I'd taken the leave, I went down to Cambridge to look after the animals. It was during this time I finished Corey's jumper. It was also during this time that we finally went on his birthday trip. And also finally went to the Fitzwilliam museum in Cambridge. The Fitz wasn't quite what I was expecting. I thought it would be less of an art gallery and more of a museum. But it was a good day out, even though we ended up soaked to the skin because Corey decided it was just drizzling, therefore we didn't need to take the bus...I really shouldn't listen to that boy when it comes to the weather...

And then we went to London. Which meant getting up bright and early and rushing for the bus. The day didn't start off brilliantly, what with us both being very tired and me rushing us along to try and get into town in time. Corey's legs were aching, so he wasn't able to power along as per usual. But we caught the bus in time and I had a nap. Which always helps my grumpiness. I was trying to hide the annoyance, as it was his birthday day, but I often fail.

The British Museum was the first place we went to. We walked from Victoria coach station to the Museum, which was lovely. Got to Buckingham Palace at the changing of the guards, but couldn't really see much due to the obvious crowds of people. We then made our way to the museum and wandered around for a few hours. I quite enjoyed it. Granted, we walked straight past the Rosetta Stone the first time round, and it took a while to find Ginger the mummy, but I loved the way the whole place was laid out. I do find, however, that both Corey and myself have the tendency to get tired of looking around museums after a while. It's not that we have a low attention span. It's just that we look at things perhaps a little too in depth. And so we take in so much information our brains beg us to stop!

The entrance to the British Museum

The Rosetta Stone. Pretty impressive...once you realise you've just walked past it...

Ginger. Probably not for the faint hearted.

My favourite thing in the museum: a perfectly working clock, this is. Absolutely stunning!

We then made our way along the one side of the river, on the way to Tower Bridge. We went up the Bridge, which Corey preferred to the British Museum. The views were spectacular, plus the sun was just starting to set.

Tower Bridge

 

Us, with part of the bridge behind us.

The Thames as the sun goes down.

After all that, we made our way along the South Bank. This was supposed to be the romantic part of the day: walking hand in hand as the sun went down. But it was March...the wind was bitterly cold....and we were both pretty hungry. Which doesn't make for a romantic atmosphere. After a quick dinner at Nando's, and a further walk along the South Bank, we got back to Victoria coach station in time for our bus, and headed back to Cambridge. We caught the bus home, we didn't walk from Cambridge city centre...we were pretty tired by the time we got back!

I am still here!

Ha, typically I promise to write every day, and then fail to do so. The reason for being is that we had to move flat, due to some issues we were having. We just couldn't take the uncertainty in living in a flat where we didn't know if we'd be kicked out of or not, in a place where the landlord and estate agent didn't trust us. So at the end of November, we found somewhere else and moved in in the begining of December. I'll possibly blog about those issues at a later date.

December was spent moving and getting settled in. This place is a three minute walk from work, which is wonderful and means I can come home for a longer time at lunch. We do not have proper internet, which is why I've not posted anything. Our internet consists of a sim card that we put into my phone: not convenient for blogging! The new flat is tiny, but alright for just the two of us, and at first was lovely to live in. Until our ceiling started leaking, then collapsed, which has started a fiasco with our neighbours refusing to admit to a problem and our landlord having to threaten theirs with legal action. I think something is happening now, which hopefully means repairs will be underway, soon.

We've also had to move our living room into the bedroom and visa versa, as our neighbours kitchen and living room was above our bedroom. And they seem to never sleep. They put washing on at all hours of the day and night, walk up and down, talk loudly and cough their lungs up at stupid hours of the morning. After moving the rooms around, we finally started having decent nights sleep. Now our neighbours seem to enjoy arguing at stupid o clock at least once a week. I'm currently in Cambridge again, looking after the animals. During the two weeks I've been away, Corey was awake all night one night with the arguing, and only got 5 hours sleep the other night. I understand people make a noise and are likely to disturb you when you live in flats. I understand people argue. But do they have to do it at 1:30 am? Or, such as the one argument a few months ago, 3 am, with loud screaming and shouting. Where I lay in bed, wondering if I should call the police. Funnily enough, they have a baby, and I thought I'd be woken up by the little one in the early hours. I think we've heard her twice...And neither time did she wake us up.

Anyway, this post was just to say, I am still here. I haven't forgotten this blog, and in fact, I really quite miss it! I think we'll try and get some proper internet once we know where we're settling down. The internship ends at the end of this month, so everything is pretty dependent on whether I have a job afterwards! I will try and post more often, but I can't really promise anything!

Hmmm

Since I'm blogging on my internship blog once a day, I don't want to neglect this one. The problem is I am, quite honestly, exhausted at the moment, and its difficult to come up with something that may be vaguely entertaining to someone. It's difficult to write about things that are emotionally draining, like the third part to my year apart from Corey. It's also hard to be lighthearted when your brain is unable to put together comprehensible thought. But I am going to try and write something every day. No matter how terrible it sounds.

So forgive me if I bore you, but I am hoping that over time things will improve again. Hopefully when I learn how to sleep properly again...

Sorry for the brief interruption in programming

Ok, yes, I know, this isn't a program...but anyway...

So much has happened in this past month, and I feel so guilty at neglecting this blog. I fully intended to try and post once a day once Corey and I moved house at the end of September. Then everything went to pot.

Firstly, even though I organized it perfectly so that our internet would be disconnected and then connected within a day, Virgin decided to mess this up. So we were left without internet for two weeks. No internet = no blogging.

Secondly, I started my new job. Which I'm not going to mention much here, since I am blogging about it on its own little blog, which I have to do for my internship. But me being me, I'm also doing extra hours at the library once a week. So in total I'm working 6 days per week, with Sunday's off, which has led to a tired Crysta. I've also had some pretty serious issues with our accommodation, but I'm hoping that's all sorted now. But this has led to me not being able to get onto this. And I have missed it! I've also missed reading all my regular blogs and have felt really out of touch. But I am back now! Hopefully...barring any mishaps.

Anyway, I realise this isn't much of a post, but I need to blog on my other blog (so many uses of the word blog, my inner essay writer is saying "Find another word! Find another word!"). I also need to cook food...hopefully, if I have energy and time later tonight, I'll write something a little bit more. I might even put some pictures in as well, if I can...

The big bad world of work.

I honest to goodness planned on blogging more this month. But then Corey's birthday happened. And then we went to St Albans for his cousins wedding, where I met his mothers side of the family for the first time in 5 years. Then I took a week to recover from that (ok, truth is I cleaned the house and started packing. His family were lovely, and not scary), after which my laptop's hard drive decided to break on me. Which was wonderful. And cost me money I don't currently have. WHOOOO!

Anyway, tis all fixed, and even though I'm still packing (and cleaning as I pack. Why does this never end!), I thought I'd quickly write a short post (short post for me) about what I'm up to in a week and a days time. 

6th September I had my second (and last) interview for one of the (paid!!) internships that Leicester University have for their graduates. I thought it went a lot better than the last interview. They even asked me some "off the record" questions (I didn't know they kept a record of interviews, anyway...) after the actual questions. But these things are popular, so I didn't get my hopes up. I was just pleased I sounded like a normal human being this time round. I was told they'd let me know by the end of the week/beginning of the next week. So I carried on with my day, walked Corey to the bus stop, went shopping for his birthday, came home, went to training for work. During which time my phone went flat/was turned off. As I went back on my computer, I got an email from the interviewer...Expecting the worst, I opened it up to discover I got the job! So, on October the 3rd, for 6 months, I shall be an intern, a working woman. For the first time in my life I will have a proper 9-5 job. I've been employed before, and full time, but its always been shift work. I'm keeping my Saturday library job. It's only 4 and a half hours, but its extra money. And I have no clue what's happening at the end of the 6 months, so I'd like some money saved up. 

I'd also like to be able to buy some shoes...I am not a shoe girl, mostly because my feet hate shoes and blister at the sight of them, but I currently own one pair of half boots (old, a bit broken, make my feet blister), a pair of flip flops (bought this summer, but overused, so worn, a bit broken), a pair of calf boots (broken, old, blah, blah, blah), walking boots (amazingly comfortable, NOT broken, but not work suitable), a pair of going out open toes (used to be comfy, but now blister my feet in several places, also a bit broken) and a pair of Bootleg shoes from Clarks (for my hospital job: most comfy work shoes ever, but now they hurt my feet :S! Also, possibly about to break). Sum total of the story: I NEED NEW SHOES!

And I would really like these ones:

http://www.irregularchoice.com/shop/womens/product/3267/scottie-dog.html?offset=94

Because they say "I am professional, yet I also have a personality" and they have dogs on them. And who doesn't want shoes with dogs on them?

Anyway...to sum up this post, if someone would like to give me a "WELL DONE! You're a graduate and you managed to get a job in this economic climate!" present: these shoes would be perfect. Or just a "Crysta, you are wonderful, and you make awesome muffins/dinner/cake" present. Or a 

"Sorry I told you I would help you in the garden today, but then got caught up in the F1 and forgot I was supposed to help you. Which meant you did all the heavy lifting, raking, weeding, sweeping, cutting, and general tidying all by yourself"

present. Not that I'm hinting at someone, here...*ehem, Joe Cullen...

Yeah, ok, whatever. I know I said this would be a short post. But I'm really tired, and trying to find the energy to get up, put on dinner, then have a bath...

Corey's 25th

Ugh, I was intending to post some more last week, now that I have my life back. But I forgot what usually happens when I get some free time...Things go a little crazy and I end up busier than ever!

Anyway, it was Mr Still's 25th birthday  last week Wednesday. He was determined to let it pass just like any other day. Which made me determined not to let that happen! He was working on Tuesday, till 11pm, which gave me plenty of time to put plans in action and do secret surprises etc.

I walked him to the bus stop in town and did my girlfriendly duty of sobbing into a handkerchief as the bus rode off (I may be making this up...I may not be...), then proceeded to dry my eyes and go food shopping. Clinton's was my first stop for a card, sentimental little wallet card, butterfly that flies out of cards and a balloon. Which I had filled with helium. And then spent most of the afternoon worried it would somehow blow away even though it was weighed down. Co-op was next for supplies for the birthday breakfast, dinner, cake and home-made present (more on that still to come!). I had money in my bag, so didn't bring my purse. And got IDed for the first time in about a year. And for the first time ever I had no id on me. Co-op took my wine away, and I left, rather bemused. I am, after all four months away from my 26th birthday, and I certainly don't look that young, either.

I got home and started on the first part of my plans: the making of the stick puppet friends. I went to job training, and started on the second part: the making of the lemon curd, to be used on the cake and to be given as a gift.

The process of making lemon curd 

 Corey likes lemon curd, the cake recipe called for some in the icing, and I wasn't able to give him his actual present on his birthday, so making him a jar of lemon curd as a surprise seemed like a good idea. It was surprisingly easy to make, though its possibly a tad too runny. Due to the recipe asking for 3 eggs and one egg yolk, I was happily separating the egg into the mixture, only to realise I'd put the egg white in...not the yolk...so I put the yolk in as well.

I then made a stupid hat for him to wear as he ate his breakfast meal and opened his presents and card.

Luckily I have a boyfriend who appreciates effort as opposed to looks. He's also very willing to look stupid if it makes me happy

I then made his cake:

Possibly made too much icing...

Which was honey yoghurt and lemon flavour. The yoghurt made it so wonderfully moist, even after it was left in the fridge while we went to St Albans over the weekend.

Oh yes...stick puppet friends: here they are!

Don't they look happy, sitting there, creepily watching Corey as he ate his breakfast. Oh, yeah, that "honey" jar is the lemon curd I made

I got up bright and early (ok, half past 8) on his birthday and proceeded to make his breakfast. He didn't want a fry up, he said he was happy just having toast/cereal. Again, I was just not happy with this. Toast does not a birthday breakfast make. So I baked him scones. To have with the lemon curd. See how my plans come together so perfectly?

Before going in the oven. Looked like mini leaning towers of Pisa. But they tasted goooood!

I like to think that the fact he came down to a table full of unopened cards, a room covered in happy birthday banners (he'd bought these for my birthday), a balloon and a stupid hat, with the smell of baking scones in the oven, made him change his mind about just letting his birthday pass by. He was dutifully impressed by the lemon curd. He knew about the cake since he'd opened the fridge (after me telling him not to) and seen it there. He'd also seen the wrapped up jar, but didn't guess what it was.

He ate scones, opened cards (which I placed on display on the table), wore his hat and played around with the stick puppets. Afterwards we went to the local museum, which had just reopened its dinosaur display to the public.

Roooooaaaaaaar!

He may have turned 25, but he's still fascinated by old bones and things. Probably a good thing, since I'm certainly not getting any younger.

Oh, and his present from me: a trip to London to go to the British Museum, followed by a walk/tube journey depending on the time, to Tower Bridge, to go to THAT museum, followed by a walk along South Bank as the sun goes down. The British Museum, along with the Fitz in Cambridge, is a museum neither of us have gone to, and every time we plan a trip to London, we try and go there, but never quite manage it. I have decided that, before the year is out, we shall go to both!

I have a life again!

Ok, ok, it's not much of a life, but dissertation was all done, dusted and handed in last Friday at 10 am. It's not the best, but it felt so good to have it all done! I thought that meant I could clean my house and relax for the next couple of days. Ha ha ha! I forgot how random things just happen to me...This is how Friday went:

6:00 am: curse the time. Drag self out of bed, turn on laptop, read part of dissertation one last time. Eat breakfast, read some more of dissertation. (I have to have one last read before handing it in...I had redrafted it several times before...)

8:00 am: Wake up Corey, don't succeed, read some more of dissertation, try to send it off. Panic when you realise that you can't have Roman numerals for the first few pages and page numbers for the rest on a word document. Dissertation will now not look right. It will all be ruined and you will fail. Your life WILL become a mess and you WILL end up flipping burgers in McDonald's. Or shelf-stacking in Tesco's for the rest of your life.

8:50 am: in panicked state, shout upstairs to Corey. Explain situation: dissertation not look right, Crysta fail, end of world as we know it. Corey knows from tone of voice you don't mean to sound as rude as you do. He tells you you're being silly, and he knows what to do. He sorts it.

9:10 am: panicked now for a DIFFERENT reason. You see, your intention was to leave at 9:00 at the latest to print of dissertation. Now that it's 10 minutes after that time, you know something WILL GO WRONG and you WILL HAND IT IN LATE and then you WILL FAIL etc etc etc. Even though deadline is 1pm and you have plenty of time.

9:30 am: get to uni. Print off 60000 pages. Ok, maybe its only 58. Check pages are in the right order. DON'T READ anything, just pages numbers. You have already sent dissertation in online, and you know if you see ONE MISTAKE on the hard copy, it will eat at you until you get your results.

10:00 am: Go to Law Department. Ask if you can buy binder. Yes you can. Ok, so now you need to get it bound? Nope, done right there, while you wait! Binder is magic like that. Put dissertation into inside of binder spine, slam shut: voila!

10:10 am: breath sigh of relief, hug Corey, who looks at you weirdly. Resist urge to sing about Raindrops and Roses like a crazy person. Go to Morrisons and shop

11:30 am: finish shopping, get home, eat, psych self up for cleaning the house.

12:30 pm: Corey goes into uni. Turn on music REALLY LOUD! Start cleaning bathroom

12:40 pm: BANG BANG BANG! Who the hell is knocking on the door? Check out upstairs window, see blue cast. Must be Corey. Get confused. Door opens before you get downstairs. Corey has something in hands...

Realise you won't be cleaning for the rest of the day. You will be looking after little baby squirrel, about 5 weeks old. Who was attacked by a magpie and my softhearted, wonderful man decided to rescue him and bring it home.

I spent the rest of the day searching for how to feed squirrels. Corey called the RSPCA and local vet to see if they would help. Nope, they wouldn't. I then bought a hamster cage, got some food supplies, thinking we'd have the little fella for a while, got home and searched for someone who would help. Poor thing had part of his tail removed and really needed someone to care for him properly. We finally got someone to take him. I can only hope he's doing alright.

One of my pet causes

Yeah, yeah, I told you I'd finish off our year abroad story, and I will sometime soon. Its a little emotionally draining for me and right now my brain can barely remember how to spell words like powder. Seriously. Not kidding. Last night I was chatting on msn to Corey and it took three goes before I got it right...I spelt it right to begin with, but it looked funny...

This morning, trawling through my blogs, I read yet another Any Other Wedding post that inspired me to write something. Seriously girls, even non married ones, its a wonderful blog to read and its not all about weddings. In it it talks about a woman that one of the bloggers met while in hospital and how this woman has to cope with the pain of sickle cell anemia. Its a nasty disease, horribly cruel. A vital part of your body just doesn't work properly and there is, currently, no cure. There is, however, one thing that is often essential to helping people with this disease: blood transfusions. Particularly if its a pregnant woman, or someone who is suffering badly from it, blood transfusions are a necessary part of their treatment.

So here's my plug: have you ever considered giving blood? I've been doing it on and off since I was 19 years old. I'm not squeamish and never had a problem with needles, but even if you do, it really doesn't hurt most times. It's 15 minutes of lying on a bed, with quite a soothing atmosphere as you give something that may very well save someone's life one day. Afterwards you get to eat as much junk food as you like with the excuse that you need to replenish your blood sugar. I also discovered I have O negative blood, which is something I kinda needed to know. It's the universal donor, anyone can have it. Seriously, anyone. But it means that it is in very short supply, only 7% of the population have this blood type, so I need to try and avoid needing a blood transfusion :P Secondly, I know now that I will need injections when pregnant/just after giving birth because should my baby be O + or anything else that's +, I will react to any future baby that has + blood type.

Oh, I also know I don't have HIV, Hepatitis B and C, Syphilis, Human T-lymphotropic virus (some weird disease that's apparently common in some populations, as well as Adult T cell Leukemia). Oh, they also check to see if you have enough iron in your blood before you give blood. So I know I'm not anemic. I also know I don't have chlamydia, but that's because the nurse at the doctors surgery persuaded me to take the test once (its good for the stats, she said, even if you know you don't have it). Anyway, it's also great fun to tell your father that you know you don't have all these sexually transmitted diseases. "WHY do you know all this?" I was asked. "I give blood, Daddy" was my reply.


Anyway, seriously, if you've never considered it before, even if your a little scared of needles (I'm not talking full blown phobia here, I'm talking just being afraid. If you have a phobia, you should probably deal with that first.), its about an hour out of your day, 4 times a year, for something that many, many people need.


http://www.blood.co.uk/index.asp is the link to the UK give blood site. Another cool thing: you can sign up to online registration which means you can see what your blood is used for. Mine tends to be used for pregnant women a lot...

http://www.anyotherwedding.com/  Any Other Wedding: read it, you won't regret it. Unless you have a dissertation to do...but even then, you'll probably regret having the dissertation to do because it distracts you from your blogs. Oh, and vote for them in the Cosmo blog awards. Because they are awesome and deserve the win. If you do vote for them, they are in the sex and relationships category.

Ah, the future.

Firstly, I know there's people out there who read the nonsense I write...I'm pretty sure I know who you are, but...on the off chance that there's someone out there who I don't know (I know this isn't the case as I can see from my stats that only people on facebook look at these pages :P), please feel free to comment.

I am probably about 4 or 5 hours away from completing the first draft of my dissertation. I need to send it off to my supervisor by the end of the day, but I haven't managed to get the redrafting that I wanted to get done, done. Oh well. She will have seen everything I've written once, and I guess I'll have to cope with that.

Since last week Wednesday I've been feeling a little bit down. I guess its not that surprising considering the fact my dissertation was taken apart by my supervisor, and I then proceeded to sound like a bumbling idiot in a job interview. I've applied for internship placements at university, which I desperately want to do, but since I have only gotten that one interview, and since I didn't get that particular job, I don't think I'll be doing the internships. I still technically speaking have a job note taking and my library assistant job, but I really want to do something that lets me use my degree (s) in some way. I don't want to have to move back to my parents house, but it seems pretty likely. I just want to grow up and start living my life, come September.

I am intelligent and articulate, yet when it comes to job interviews I suddenly start sounding as if I've forgotten how to speak. Its frustrating, because I know I could do all of the jobs I apply for. I'm hardworking and a very quick learner. I can work in a team and use my initiative. All of which many people can do. But at the same time, I'm cheerful, friendly and get on with most people. The ones I don't get on with...well, its usually their fault and not mine (truly, I'm not being big headed there. In 10 years worth of work experience, there's only been one coworker who's had a problem with me.). I even sing and dance, I can vaguely do origami and I bake amazing muffins. But until I can get past the bumbling idiot in an interview stage, they won't experience any of that. I may bring muffins to my next interview...it may help them ignore the stupid words coming out of my mouth.

Oh, before you ask, I always do my research and prepare answers to possible questions before going to an interview.

I don't want to go back to Cambridge, to my parents who will tell me what a waste this year has been. I don't want to have to live in completely different cities to Corey, again, only seeing each other once or twice a month. I want to stay here, at least while I figure out where to go next.

So...does anyone have a job for a muffin baking, all singing, all dancing girl who will do her best to make you smile while she works?

Anyone?

Nope?

Oh well...

Edit: I checked my emails before this post, I checked my emails after...before: no new emails. Afterwards: I have another internship interview. Question: should I bake muffins or should I just wow them with my lack of verbal skills?

Confession

I have an early morning confession to make...

I read wedding blogs...

I have a wedding ideas word document...

I have bookmarks of many of these blogs and other random wedding related things...

Am I getting married? Nope. Why do I read them? Well, I'm pretty certain I've found my ever after man, and so I'm also pretty certain one day we will get married. I'm getting ideas beforehand so that when the time comes I'll have a very small head start. By ideas and head start read: I know I won't want to spend more than about £5000 (even that amount on what amounts to one day and just a slightly bigger party with more cake makes my brain go WHAAA...?), therefore I will have to DIY, have a cheap venue etc etc. I have NOT done an Elliot Reed and booked said venue nor do I know where I would have said venue. That would be up to Corey and myself when the time comes. All I know is the church I want to be married in. But having a slight head start may mean we can marry in a year after we get engaged rather than 2.

Also...I'm more than flat broke currently. I will have two degrees soon and pretty few career prospects. I have no clue what will happen in the coming months and that scares the life out of me. Will I get a job? Will I get funding for a PHD? Will I ever be able to afford to go abroad again? Can I make my father's 50th birthday in South Africa next year? etc etc... Planning our wedding (yes, Corey, its you at the end of the isle...Corey? Corey? Why are you running away? COREY!) lets me sit back and fantasize about something happy, wonderful and pretty. With dancing and pretty dresses. It lets me forget, for a minute, that come September I got no clue what's happening.

Plus, I am insanely lucky to have discovered sane wedding blogs, with non-judgmental women (and men in some cases) who will support your every decision, even if they don't understand why you're making it. Which, apparently, is quite rare in the wedding industry world. It also seems pretty rare in the friends and family world. It seems, you see, that people will not support your every decision. You will have someone disagree with a choice you've made, or get offended at a silly little thing. Or tell you you should be doing it like this...So its good to know, in advance, that there are some nice, safe havens of sanity somewhere. Also, many of these blogs don't just focus on weddings. Instead they focus on life, the universe and everything. And they are written by wise, witty, wonderful people. To my friends (and family) who are engaged and planning a wedding: head on over to Any Other Wedding. It is my addiction, and I love it so much. Its the perfect mix of pretty and reality. And these women are sane, in a crazy enough to be interesting kinda way.

And, finally, sometimes its just nice to look at pretty  wedding dresses!

P.S. wanna know something even more crazy? I have already decided I will be getting a dress made...even crazier than that, I already have the pattern I want sewn up...But the pattern is a few years out of date, is sold out pretty quickly when people sell it on ebay, so I snapped it up pretty quickly when I discovered it on sale one day.

It looks like this:

Yes, I'll be wearing that to a church. I'll probably have the shoes in white, though, to go with the dress. Or bright pink. Or yellow. Or something that's not black. Don't worry, folks, I'll be getting a boob job before hand so I can do the dress justice!

This shall be my veil:

The actual dress is my second choice. I especially love the fact you end up looking like a box with a skirt.

And for the reception, this shall be my evening frock:

I've already had it priced. It's going to cost about £5678 to get it all made for me. Custom made.

...Or perhaps I'm just not telling you what my dress actually looks like, because, well, Corey reads my blog sometimes. When he can be bothered. When he's bored of his football sites.

Also...Hell no will I be getting a boob job! Even if it is to look good in a wedding dress!

Have a good Saturday, peoples!

My actual 20's

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about my teens and said I'd write about my 20's some day. I should be doing many other things: cleaning the house, dissertating, proof reading for a friend...but I'm bored, so I'll do something I enjoy doing.

First things first: I'm 25, so this is about my first 5 years of my 20's, not the whole decade. I cannot see into the future, much as I wish I could...

My 20's have been slow going. I haven't had too much happen in them, but like I said before I had so many emotional upheavals prior to them that I'm enjoying the slowness! But they have been wonderful in so many ways.

I've spent 4 years of them at university. University is where I emerged from my shell and allowed myself to be who I truly am: a slightly crazy, very bubbly, happy (I'd never really been that before), optimistic young woman. It certainly helped that I met some pretty wonderful people along the way, who enabled me to be all I ever wanted to be.

 

That's five people in one hula hoop, by the way. Sarah and Maria, who became like sisters to me. We'd spent countless evenings before going out rushing into each others rooms,  borrowing jewelry and makeup, singing into hairbrushes and dancing the can-can in the corridor between our rooms. Often getting ready for a night out was better than a night out. Joe, who's become my brother/child-I-never-gave-birth-to, who's one of the sweetest guys I know. And has lost over 4 stone in weight (as his adopted sister/mother, I'm incredibly proud of him). He bears the brunt of my bossiness, taking it very well, and often following my orders advice. Then there's me, with the funny expression on my face...Don't ask me why...And next to me, my first every, and hopefully last ever, boyfriend. Looking a little strained. Probably the hula hoop cutting off his circulation or something.

I experienced night clubbing and ordering alcohol from bars. I'd never done such things before, I'd never had friends living close enough for me to do that, and I never had the desire to go out in my younger days. I learnt that I can have an awesome night out, spending only £1 (for my coat to be looked after). I discovered that the best nights out start off with a hot chocolate and apple pie in the pub. The first time I did this, everyone laughed at me, them with their pints and alcopops. Until the hot chocolate with whipped cream came out. And the apple pie with the TWO scoops (I'm a rebel, me) of ice cream was eaten in front of them. Their mocking glances became envious. I discovered I don't need to get drunk to have a good time, that remembering everything the next day is pretty awesome. Since you can tell people what THEY did that night :P And I did it beside the most wonderful and amazing people in the world. Oh, I can't actually get drunk, it turns out. Because too much alcohol is too rich for my stomach. And, well...even though I'm not even particularly tipsy...It will come up. On the plus side, I've always managed to get to the bathroom in time, and been so discrete that people have been known to ask "has she actually thrown up?".

I also fell in love, but I've already written a post on that!

Then I went abroad for an exchange year. Which was both wonderful and terrifying. I went to South Africa so that I could spend time with the family I never get to see. But it also meant being away from Corey. Which is a whole other post on its own. I met some amazing people, did some pretty awesome things. For one thing, I got to stroke these: 

I got bit on the backside by this: 

No, it wasn't painful. It was like a dog biting you. Everyone around panicked a little, but all I could think of is THIS IS GOING TO BE SUCH A COOL STORY! And hope someone took photo's of the tiger latched on. They didn't :(

And, I also got to see a sight such as this:

  

We were walking past the hippo enclosure when this little guy popped his head up. It was so funny I still laugh when I see that photo!

I may write a longer post on my year abroad...I may not...Depends on what I feel like writing later on, I guess.

I came back to England for my final year (of undergrad). Unfortunately, most of my friends had graduated, and since then they've never been quite the same. But with my new found confidence I managed to make a few more friends. I graduated, took another gap year working in a hospital as a health care assistant. It was an amazing job. So amazing that I nearly cancelled my masters course application and became a nurse. But one day, I was researching some stuff for my aunt, land law stuff, and I got this tingle of excitement as I looked at the legal documents. And I hated land law...

So, this past year I've been doing a masters. And...well...right now...I should be writing my dissertation so that I can graduate from said masters...

Hmmm...I apologise for the standard of this post...I've suddenly gone pretty tired and all my inspiration has gone away. I guess that's a sign I should go to the shops and buy the roast I'm making for Corey.

I promise to come back and edit this...some day soon.